Happy Chinese New Year Everybody!

In honor of the Chinese New Year...

I have decided to blog about a very interesting topic:

Bad Drivers.

And no I am not talking to the ASIAN population (as appropriate as it is on this celebrated new year)

I am talking to you, UTAHNS.

Everyday that I commute to school is a trial of faith, patience and the use of appropriate language. Everytime I drive the 1-15, I lose hope in the intellect of the human race. Break the cycle UTAHNS. Discover that it BENEFITS you to work together with other cars and be aware of other people on the road besides yourself, I promise.

For those that think UTAH drivers are not that bad- This placed this hidden camera in a local Utah parking lot to prove my point: (You have to watch the whole thing to appreciate the chaos.)

I hope everyone makes a Chinese New Years Resolution this year to drive just a little better.

幸福的新年

Macy Victoria

There Are No Words

tyrabanks Tyra Banks Tweet for 1/19/2011 

BellyButton talk time! I used to be outtie, now I'm innie. Weird. Maybe I am an alien... U outtie or innie? N how often u clean it?

There are no words

Macy Victoria

White House Fail/ Halladay House Win

Lately I have been focusing my energies and shakras on being tidier and cleaner. I have now made my bed 18 days in a row. (Yes a new years res.) And sometimes I have good days... and sometimes I have bad days...

But any day is better than a day at the White House apparently... And the Dalai Lama isn't walking into my room anytime soon... (in the literal sense of course)

And as His Holiness Tweated himself (or whoever tweets for him), "With the realization of ones own potential and self-confidence in ones ability, one can build a better world... or a cleaner backyard" Jan 17

I claim creative license on the last couple words

Macy Victoria

Apollo Moon Landing Hoax and Other Things

2011.
You Mock Me.
First A Burp.
And
Then
A
Cough.
Leave My Face Alone
2011.

As I got off on the wrong floor on the elevator. I kid you not- An old lady coughed in my face. My fate has now evolved from burping to coughing. I was in a hurry the other day heading in and out of the elevator running errands when I suddenly got off on the wrong floor. It must have been a floor of little visitation because the old lady I almost ran into looked quite shocked to see someone getting off at that floor. She responded to her surprise by a gargling cough into my mouth. It was dark and dusty and I didn't like it all. This is an artist rendition of what happened:

Since the burp and the cough into my mouth happened so close together, I am starting to believe there is more happening here than I realize. Am I part of an experiement? Am I part of disease control governement test? Was the Apollo landing real? Global warming a hoax? Jersey Shore a government ploy...?!

 Save yourselves, it's a conspiracy.
Macy Victoria

Shower Day

Today was my Shower Day. And this is how I feel about it:

[I would have found a more suitable picture involving a human victim, but I figured it was a little too kiddie porensque to show a screaming child in the bath tub. Especially since the google search pictures of kids in bathtime, are not my own. And sure this dog is not my own either but I figured it was okay since he apparently baths with his coat on.]

Shower Day. Shower Day happens about twice a week for me. Three times if I want to feel especially clean. One time a week if I am feeling especially artisitc. But I HATE Shower Day. I grudgingly look to shower day like one would at their annual pap smear (*schmear depending where you're from). It seems pointless, takes time out of my morning, and you have yo redo your hair afterwards. I seriously hate it. I end up going in there determined to quickly do what needs to get done and  40 minutes later I am still staring at the same piece of hair on the shower wall, that miracuously looks like the Virgin Mary, lost in my own thoughts.

Queen Elizabeth remains my hero for several reasons- powerful woman, rocks the ginger look, developed the idea killing someone because of their religion might not work out for many people, all solid qualities for an impressionable woman like myself to look up to, but really it comes down to the fact that she only bathed once a month and rocked it. I am not an extremeist I am not saying I support the once a year kind of thing but I think once a month shower is a generous compromise. And the Virgin Queen was considered the "perfect embodiement of cleanliness," because of her hygeine habits.

You can just call me the "perfect embodiment of being able to rock 4 day old hair."

Shower on People

Or Don't.

Macy Victoria.

Close Your Mouth America

I was recently informed by an Asian friend that my blog was too serious. So I have decided to make a new blog. But I don't understand how I can make a less serious blog...

...when I am SERIOUSLY upset some stranger burped in my mouth yesterday.

It's no laughing matter. I have decided to now start a non-profit campaign, called "Close Your Mouth America: People are Suffering" www.cymapas.com. Please feel free to donate, all proceeds will go to my recovery and all other victims of this selfish crime.

Rumor has it Gloria Allred may join this tragic cause.

Every 3 minutes someone burps in America, and every 120 minutes one of those burps lands in someone else's mouth. Take a stand today,

Thank you.

Macy Victoria.